I don't agree that the only person that can save you is yourself. I Do believe
that you can accept to be save and that decision is yours, but you can't save
yourself!
We are weak and we must depend on someone, something. My choice is so simple and
is already made.
I once was in a deep, deep depression... So deep, killing myself WAS an option
and would have been so easy.
Depress from what you ask? What were the reasons?... Ha, you ask...
Like some song says :
'' Welcome to my life... ''
I've always been a reject at school, had no or so few friends, I'd come bake
home with tears in my eyes all my childhood. In high school, same thing. But it
wasn't tears everyday; it was sadness in my heart.
Waaay worse. I sometime got bullied and laugh at, I sometime rage on the guy and
get him what he deserved but got worse, I think you all get the idea of the HELL
rejected kids live at school.
It all pilled up until each little frustrations, and I mean ANY kind of
frustrations would make that pile of pain go unstable and almost collapse in me.
When it did, and it DID happen, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at
my floor, tears flowing own to my knees and I said to myself :
''I can't take it no more. I have no future, I hate school, I hate being a
reject, I'm a loser, no one loves me except my mom, but she won't be there for
me all my life, I need a life, I want a future but what?... And what kind of
life is that: Go to school, eat study, sleep... Go to school, eat [etc]. WTF
will I do later, I can't take this any more...''
And I kept these thoughts coming none-stop and believe me, you feel so depress,
you can't think properly anymore. You are no more rational.
When you feel like this, you don,t have a ''reason'' or a specific ''why'' for
that sadness... Your muscles goes numb, you whole body ain't reacting no more,
you're veg and you can't think of ANYTHING clearly, and but what you DO HAVE IN
MIND is :
''I wanna end it. End this pain. I wanna end it. ''
I went through the pain of suicide thoughts and sooo close to the suicide act...
But as you may have noticed: I'm still ALIVE and didn't put an end to my great
life! lol
Why? Why I didn't end my life? Ahh... The BIG WIDE W H Y !
I'd say God. I think it's the only thing that saved me that day. GOD. Here's why
and the reason's so fantastic :
All I know is that I was hopeless, was about to kill myself and wasn't able to
wake up from this dizzlin-saddening feel and kept thinking about ending my
life.
Suddenly, I started to think not about me but about all the people that my death
would trouble! My pain was such a piece of shit compare to THAT! The sight of my
family crying over my tomb, my room empty, my friend's tears, what would the
others think? ''Why did he do that?'', ''We had no idea he was depressive'',
''OMG! Why him? He was so kind and calm!''
Suddenly, I noticed that my life had an effect, direct or not on a lot but a LOT
OF PEOPLE!
Think about that next time you feel depressed. It's way better than anything you
can come up with. Like telling yourself some guy in Africa is starving to death
has nothing to do with your problems, right? But what about your brother? your
sister, mom, dad etc.. What would happen to THEM if you die? Huh?
Thinking is the key. That's what saved me... and it wasn't really me that made
me think those things, that why I say God...
FINALLY, next time you can ask yourself : ''why would someone kill himself'',
well, try to remember a moment in your life when YOU were angry, frustrated, sad
or in deep chock, try to remember what YOU were thinking... Quit sure something
like:
''I wanna kill that guy, he's so mean to me'' or ''What have I done to deserve
this... '' '' Why me'' '' I sick tired of [this/that/him/her/etc]''
Suicide thoughts doesn't come like this, it's the build-up of pain above pain
above pain until you can't take it anymore.
Now, I'm sharing this with some people I freakin don't know, Don't even know if
someone is actually gonna read this to the END! (lol that's the classic thing to
say in forums, right huh? :P )
I hope it helps someone out there to understand and have a better idea of what
makes people want to commit suicide.
WHAT!?! It's 4 in da morning! Woohaaa! Now I gotta go sleep! What a long text!
LOL
See ya all!
First : get da REAL CDs,the originals... That way you can't loose 'em! I say, if
you like a Group/band, buy it. They deserve it, no?
Second : Want to diversify? listen to 24/24 online radio! You can find all kind
of style! I'm hooked on DI.fm the second my comps is ON! Mainly Psychedelic
Trance, Hard Dance, etc. But there's a lot, LOT more! Check it out! Classic,
Rock, oldies, Jazz, etc.
Finally : Make BACKUPs of your downloaded files and/or music! ALWAYS!
Am I hiding? Are we hiding ourselves? YES. But Why?
Internet :
First, I'd say : Take a few minutes or seconds, and look around MT. Look at the
user's names : NO ONE ever use his REAL name to identify WHO?
Himself! Of course! who is, actually, A REAL PERSON! How strange! Is it that
we're ashamed of what we are? Scared to know that someone we actually know will
know something we don't want him to know about the TRUE us? (yes, many knows
lol) When asked to give our infos, we have multiple e-mails accounts, we give
fake IDs, names, even country lol We got all these virtual
identities...
Well, well, well! How interesting! Isn't it?
This is just one example. But how many times do we write, speak, post or chat
about ourselves and being actually creating a second personality? We are almost
schizophrenic beings! BUt don,t be afraid, you,re not alone, we
aren't...
Daily life :
Now for the Real-Life part (yes there is one, I heard it exists outside my
computer room ... somewhere... )
Like the others said it, it's in the Human
Nature to protect ourselves (we could be talking till our death about
that ''nature'' of ours, so I won't be explaining that! For now... And
we create these second personalities, shields, or call it the way you want, we
hide in SO MANY ways it's unbelievable.
But, whatever the situation we always hide a little, a lot, but always...
Someone actually NOT hiding himself, is lying to himself. Take a loving couple,
for example. They can't live a steady relationship if they aren't honest about
who they really are... But believe it or not, they still have a shield, mask
etc..
BUT WHY? WHY?
Mainly because of that Human Nature... It's all about that.
I'M pretty sure we would all agree that we can't FULLY trust or depend on
ANYONE. Depend on a person and one day, you WILL be deceived. Maybe a small
deception, maybe a BIG one, but you will be. Even if you trust the best man
(including womens) on earth, you will still be deceived be him/her. (doesn't
mean you CAN'T trust anyone, if get the idea... otherwise, it's impossible to
live with someone we love/care about.)
I think we create a second US to actually prevent things to hurt our REAL self.
And it works. I've never been sad, angry or harmed in any ways because
someone/something harmed my second ME. It's our carapaces! Our shields, masks,
second IDs [etc] ! Don't be afraid of that instinct, this feeling of hiding
yourself, your life depends on it.
Don't HIDE behind that, LIVE WITH it! It's also all about being balanced! Some
people are so-called non-social, but they are so afraid or have been deceived
once and they are soooo scared to show their TRUE self they COMPLETELY hide
behind this second skin, mask.
I have good friends, I trust many people, but I always keep myself SAFE. Safe
mentally, SAFE physically. Yes, it's not only mental: Take a hot girl at a party
and she decides to trust this nice, good-looking guy offering this... drink...
poisoned. It happens all the time! EH! got it?
That's all I had in mind, for now! Hope you all liked it and have more to share
with all of us!
And YES, rpgmaker2 ain't my REAL name :P
See ya all! (Though I post rarely, I'm still around LOL)
Ciao!
No problem! And I agree with Devilet, you did a great job on extracting those
characters! I also agree that adding shadows to the grass would be
nice.
About the darkness of the wall... How about making 2 version? The
first one with the clouds, grass and sunny mood ,while another would be darker,
according to the Fate/Stay Night theme...
How about that? That'd give ya some plenny of work! :P
It's quit an interesting wall you got there! I really like the chosen
characters. They have a nice pose and the line up is well done... though I think
the last one (right) is a lil « outsider
». his pose is weird and is too crouched : maybe a
different pose of him would fit better, but that's just my opinion! About
the clouds, well, making them more detailed is a good idea and I also think you
should place 'em higher from the grass, start the cloud at the lvl of the black
skirt girl (too lazy to remember her name :P )
Oh! And here's some technical advises (again, that's just me) : Try using the
blurr tool to make the lines less crispy, like zoom in at 200% and blurr LIGHTLY
the characters outlines. Should give you a good effect!
The characters look like scans to me, maybe re-coloring them again would do it!
LOL Nah, seriously, maybe play a lil with the lights, color, contrast, etc, to
remove the little imperfections of their colors. Something...
Annnnnd that's it! For now...
Have fun and keep it up! You really have a good start! I'll be in the first row
to download the final version! :P
OK... I see some people being scared and all here... May I explain? If I get
something wrong, let me know!
First, this lil new baby from Sony is gonna have one of the most complicated
processor ever made for a gaming console. *Catshing$$* This CPU isn't gonna be
cheap to build.
Then, like Shinangels said a few posts above, the new BRD is really kick-ass new
technology. Sony's the first to put it on the market? They're the first to put
the prices... *Catshing$$* BRB is new, production cost will be high (at first)
and they have the market advantage (for now)...
I know it ain't fair for us customer, but a company's first objective is
unfortunately: PROFIT (I hope SONY is more socially
oriented...Anyway...)
I also think they won't put an excessivly high price, but prepare yourself to
pay 300 bucks + !
FINALLY, high prices will not stop companies from selling their product... Just
take a look at the Xbox360 from Microsoft! Gee... That's really high prices too
and some weird people seem to want it soo much they're ready to ruin themselves
to own it!
But also, Sony has a great reputation, have many cutomers, MANY fans/devoted
cutomers and they're one of the best company I've ever known. I really hope they
don't deceive us, their privileged customers...
Note: Like MeLikePie said, nothing's official, for now... Keep praying and
hoping! SONY is full of suprises!
I wanted to taste Sake for a long time and when I did it was good! I first
thought is was some harsh alcohool, but it's kinda soft!
But beware, for it is easyly drinked and you can get drunk pretty fast! That is
also why I limit myself to 1 or 2 Sake cup, maximum! Oh, and I recently bought
these nice ,white sake cup... really like 'em! Now I can drink my sake with
style
(Though I do ike to make RPGs, it ain't the name I first wanted, so bear with
it... lol )
Ahem... Hi everyone! I was about to ask the very same thing! I've lost my DQ
too. I currently have 5 DQ and 11.00 Credits. I did NOT download anything and
wasn't very active lately... How long will I have to wait until my DQ comes
back?
I kinda like it here, but waiting 24 hours to be able to get 3-5 pictures, is
kinda making me want to leave and I don't want to!
Meh...
I don't agree that the only person that can save you is yourself. I Do believe that you can accept to be save and that decision is yours, but you can't save yourself!
We are weak and we must depend on someone, something. My choice is so simple and is already made.
Thanx for the reply!
M_T+
I once was in a deep, deep depression... So deep, killing myself WAS an option and would have been so easy.
Depress from what you ask? What were the reasons?... Ha, you ask...
Like some song says :
'' Welcome to my life... ''
I've always been a reject at school, had no or so few friends, I'd come bake home with tears in my eyes all my childhood. In high school, same thing. But it wasn't tears everyday; it was sadness in my heart.
Waaay worse. I sometime got bullied and laugh at, I sometime rage on the guy and get him what he deserved but got worse, I think you all get the idea of the HELL rejected kids live at school.
It all pilled up until each little frustrations, and I mean ANY kind of frustrations would make that pile of pain go unstable and almost collapse in me. When it did, and it DID happen, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking at my floor, tears flowing own to my knees and I said to myself :
''I can't take it no more. I have no future, I hate school, I hate being a reject, I'm a loser, no one loves me except my mom, but she won't be there for me all my life, I need a life, I want a future but what?... And what kind of life is that: Go to school, eat study, sleep... Go to school, eat [etc]. WTF will I do later, I can't take this any more...''
And I kept these thoughts coming none-stop and believe me, you feel so depress, you can't think properly anymore. You are no more rational.
When you feel like this, you don,t have a ''reason'' or a specific ''why'' for that sadness... Your muscles goes numb, you whole body ain't reacting no more, you're veg and you can't think of ANYTHING clearly, and but what you DO HAVE IN MIND is :
''I wanna end it. End this pain. I wanna end it. ''
I went through the pain of suicide thoughts and sooo close to the suicide act... But as you may have noticed: I'm still ALIVE and didn't put an end to my great life! lol
Why? Why I didn't end my life? Ahh... The BIG WIDE W H Y !
I'd say God. I think it's the only thing that saved me that day. GOD. Here's why and the reason's so fantastic :
All I know is that I was hopeless, was about to kill myself and wasn't able to wake up from this dizzlin-saddening feel and kept thinking about ending my life.
Suddenly, I started to think not about me but about all the people that my death would trouble! My pain was such a piece of shit compare to THAT! The sight of my family crying over my tomb, my room empty, my friend's tears, what would the others think? ''Why did he do that?'', ''We had no idea he was depressive'', ''OMG! Why him? He was so kind and calm!''
Suddenly, I noticed that my life had an effect, direct or not on a lot but a LOT OF PEOPLE!
Think about that next time you feel depressed. It's way better than anything you can come up with. Like telling yourself some guy in Africa is starving to death has nothing to do with your problems, right? But what about your brother? your sister, mom, dad etc.. What would happen to THEM if you die? Huh?
Thinking is the key. That's what saved me... and it wasn't really me that made me think those things, that why I say God...
FINALLY, next time you can ask yourself : ''why would someone kill himself'', well, try to remember a moment in your life when YOU were angry, frustrated, sad or in deep chock, try to remember what YOU were thinking... Quit sure something like:
''I wanna kill that guy, he's so mean to me'' or ''What have I done to deserve this... '' '' Why me'' '' I sick tired of [this/that/him/her/etc]''
Suicide thoughts doesn't come like this, it's the build-up of pain above pain above pain until you can't take it anymore.
Now, I'm sharing this with some people I freakin don't know, Don't even know if someone is actually gonna read this to the END! (lol that's the classic thing to say in forums, right huh? :P )
I hope it helps someone out there to understand and have a better idea of what makes people want to commit suicide.
WHAT!?! It's 4 in da morning! Woohaaa! Now I gotta go sleep! What a long text! LOL
See ya all!
@+[b][/b]
Meh.... All these talks about war, wars around the globe... Watch the movie : Lord of War... Watch it till the end and gimme your advice AFTER.
It's terribly true! The 5 countries providing the most weapons, are at the UN. Peace and love on earth? Riiight...
And about that War in Iran... Ain't that different to me then all the other one that happened, nor the one happening and upcoming...
@+
Hey, wanna know my little tricks?
First : get da REAL CDs,the originals... That way you can't loose 'em! I say, if you like a Group/band, buy it. They deserve it, no?
Second : Want to diversify? listen to 24/24 online radio! You can find all kind of style! I'm hooked on DI.fm the second my comps is ON! Mainly Psychedelic Trance, Hard Dance, etc. But there's a lot, LOT more! Check it out! Classic, Rock, oldies, Jazz, etc.
Finally : Make BACKUPs of your downloaded files and/or music! ALWAYS!
See ya!
M_T+
He he! I never saw any transformer movie, nor did ever play with these toys LOL
But it looks like it's gonna be a good sci-fiction movie! So I'm definitely going to see it!
Look out! This car ain't a car! :0
M_T+
Now, THAT'S a big one...And I like it! He he...
Am I hiding? Are we hiding ourselves? YES. But Why?
Internet :
First, I'd say : Take a few minutes or seconds, and look around MT. Look at the user's names : NO ONE ever use his REAL name to identify WHO?
Himself! Of course! who is, actually, A REAL PERSON! How strange! Is it that we're ashamed of what we are? Scared to know that someone we actually know will know something we don't want him to know about the TRUE us? (yes, many knows lol) When asked to give our infos, we have multiple e-mails accounts, we give fake IDs, names, even country lol We got all these virtual identities...
Well, well, well! How interesting! Isn't it?
This is just one example. But how many times do we write, speak, post or chat about ourselves and being actually creating a second personality? We are almost schizophrenic beings! BUt don,t be afraid, you,re not alone, we aren't...
Daily life :
Now for the Real-Life part (yes there is one, I heard it exists outside my computer room ... somewhere...
)
Like the others said it, it's in the Human Nature to protect ourselves (we could be talking till our death about that ''nature'' of ours, so I won't be explaining that! For now...
And
we create these second personalities, shields, or call it the way you want, we
hide in SO MANY ways it's unbelievable.
But, whatever the situation we always hide a little, a lot, but always... Someone actually NOT hiding himself, is lying to himself. Take a loving couple, for example. They can't live a steady relationship if they aren't honest about who they really are... But believe it or not, they still have a shield, mask etc..
BUT WHY? WHY?
Mainly because of that Human Nature... It's all about that.
I'M pretty sure we would all agree that we can't FULLY trust or depend on ANYONE. Depend on a person and one day, you WILL be deceived. Maybe a small deception, maybe a BIG one, but you will be. Even if you trust the best man (including womens) on earth, you will still be deceived be him/her. (doesn't mean you CAN'T trust anyone, if get the idea... otherwise, it's impossible to live with someone we love/care about.)
I think we create a second US to actually prevent things to hurt our REAL self. And it works. I've never been sad, angry or harmed in any ways because someone/something harmed my second ME. It's our carapaces! Our shields, masks, second IDs [etc] ! Don't be afraid of that instinct, this feeling of hiding yourself, your life depends on it.
Don't HIDE behind that, LIVE WITH it! It's also all about being balanced! Some people are so-called non-social, but they are so afraid or have been deceived once and they are soooo scared to show their TRUE self they COMPLETELY hide behind this second skin, mask.
I have good friends, I trust many people, but I always keep myself SAFE. Safe mentally, SAFE physically. Yes, it's not only mental: Take a hot girl at a party and she decides to trust this nice, good-looking guy offering this... drink... poisoned. It happens all the time! EH! got it?
That's all I had in mind, for now! Hope you all liked it and have more to share with all of us!
And YES, rpgmaker2 ain't my REAL name :P
See ya all! (Though I post rarely, I'm still around LOL)
Ciao!
M_T+
No problem! And I agree with Devilet, you did a great job on extracting those characters! I also agree that adding shadows to the grass would be nice.
About the darkness of the wall... How about making 2 version?
The
first one with the clouds, grass and sunny mood ,while another would be darker,
according to the Fate/Stay Night theme...
How about that? That'd give ya some plenny of work! :P
M_T+
Hmmm...
It's quit an interesting wall you got there! I really like the chosen characters. They have a nice pose and the line up is well done... though I think the last one (right) is a lil « outsider ». his pose is weird and is too crouched : maybe a different pose of him would fit better, but that's just my opinion!
About
the clouds, well, making them more detailed is a good idea and I also think you
should place 'em higher from the grass, start the cloud at the lvl of the black
skirt girl (too lazy to remember her name :P )
Oh! And here's some technical advises (again, that's just me) : Try using the blurr tool to make the lines less crispy, like zoom in at 200% and blurr LIGHTLY the characters outlines. Should give you a good effect!
The characters look like scans to me, maybe re-coloring them again would do it! LOL Nah, seriously, maybe play a lil with the lights, color, contrast, etc, to remove the little imperfections of their colors. Something...
Annnnnd that's it! For now...
Have fun and keep it up! You really have a good start! I'll be in the first row to download the final version! :P
M_T+
OK... I see some people being scared and all here... May I explain? If I get something wrong, let me know!
First, this lil new baby from Sony is gonna have one of the most complicated processor ever made for a gaming console. *Catshing$$* This CPU isn't gonna be cheap to build.
Then, like Shinangels said a few posts above, the new BRD is really kick-ass new technology. Sony's the first to put it on the market? They're the first to put the prices... *Catshing$$* BRB is new, production cost will be high (at first) and they have the market advantage (for now)...
I know it ain't fair for us customer, but a company's first objective is unfortunately: PROFIT (I hope SONY is more socially oriented...Anyway...)
I also think they won't put an excessivly high price, but prepare yourself to pay 300 bucks + !
FINALLY, high prices will not stop companies from selling their product... Just take a look at the Xbox360 from Microsoft! Gee... That's really high prices too and some weird people seem to want it soo much they're ready to ruin themselves to own it!
But also, Sony has a great reputation, have many cutomers, MANY fans/devoted cutomers and they're one of the best company I've ever known. I really hope they don't deceive us, their privileged customers...
Note: Like MeLikePie said, nothing's official, for now... Keep praying and hoping! SONY is full of suprises!
Thank you!
@+
Well, HELLO to you Kawaiimille! I'm new too and welcome to Minitokyo! I hope you enjoy your stay as much as I do! lol
See ya around and make sure you've read all the policies, rules and guides! (they may be long to read, but really usefull!)
Ciao!
I wanted to taste Sake for a long time and when I did it was good! I first thought is was some harsh alcohool, but it's kinda soft!
But beware, for it is easyly drinked and you can get drunk pretty fast! That is also why I limit myself to 1 or 2 Sake cup, maximum! Oh, and I recently bought these nice ,white sake cup... really like 'em! Now I can drink my sake with style
See ya all!
Drink responsibly!
(Though I do ike to make RPGs, it ain't the name I first wanted, so bear with it... lol )
Ahem... Hi everyone! I was about to ask the very same thing! I've lost my DQ too. I currently have 5 DQ and 11.00 Credits. I did NOT download anything and wasn't very active lately... How long will I have to wait until my DQ comes back?
I kinda like it here, but waiting 24 hours to be able to get 3-5 pictures, is kinda making me want to leave and I don't want to!
@+